Tom Roberts
(Written as a laugh) Tom Roberts is the most awesome creature on the the planet. With searing good looks and body that would melt your Grandma's dentures he truly is an amazing specimen. It has been said that he is so spellbindingly attractive that both men and women find it impossible to keep sex moisture from their nether parts. But if you are unfortunate enough to be blind and therefore unable to drink in the visage that is this great man, then fear not as there is plenty for your ears to enjoy as well.
His voice has been described as pure crystalline light beaming down from the heights of where heaven is said to be. As if angels had formed an elite choir, recorded it in 5.1 surround sound and then played it at a sensible volume through a top of the line Bang and Olufsen home theatre system. Added to that his guitar playing technique is so bold, so cunningly beautiful yet so precise that the United Nations is considering a moratorium on the manfacturing of all new guitars out of respect.
